July 04, 2008
Because I have grown quite uncharitable in my old age.
I've commandeered my brother-in-law's laptop to break my internet embargo here in the Low Country. Why? Because a dear friend who knows me well enough to know it was necessary just phoned to let me know that the man who was my senator for 30 of my 39 years on this planet shuffled off this mortal coil today.
Well.
Given Jesse Helms' health, the past several years couldn't have been anything but sheer misery for him. Accordingly, I'd hoped he would live to 150 or 200, fully aware all the while as ever more bits of him failed painfully, taking the tiny shreds of what passed for dignity with them. Alas, he instead exits ostentatiously, on the Fourth of July, just before the Republican Party implodes, in no small part due to the senseless hatefulness he did so much to help foster.
I always said I'd throw a party when Ol' Jesse seized up and quit breathing. As I'm down here for another week or so, I suppose that won't happen. However, I was already drunk when the call came in, and I'm going to see fireworks tonight, so I'm judging that close enough to round up. North Carolina particularly, and the United States generally, just became slighter better places and that's reason enough to celebrate.
Happy birthday, America. Comments are back on.
July 01, 2008
Once bitten, not shy.
An animal lover whose nose was bitten off and his testicles mauled by two chimps has made an appeal for his missing pet monkey. Horrifically disfigured St. James Davis was attacked in 2005 after going to see his house-trained chimp in an animal sanctuary. Two other monkeys escaped their cage and set upon him.
The chimps nearly killed Mr Davis, from West Govina, in eastern California, chewing off his nose, testicles and foot. They also bit off chunks of his buttocks and legs before the sanctuary owner shot the animals dead. Now Mr Davis' pet monkey Moe – who had previously bitten a woman's finger off – has vanished after his cage was found empty on Friday.
I'll warn you ahead of time that the picture at the link, while safe for work, may not be safe for lunch. And now I'm off for real.
One more quick one before I head out.
The American Family Association's "family-friendly" news outlet gets burned by auto-replace.
Oops. (via Emerson)
June 30, 2008
Vacation time.
I'm leaving tomorrow night for a week and a half at Hilton Head Island, so there won't be anything new here for a while. Of course, at the rate new stuff has appeared, you might not notice any difference. What I am doing, however, is turning on TypeKey registration for comments, since my spam filter is busted and 10 days without me cleaning out the chaff would equal a metric crapload of it once I get back. However, best I can figure, all it does is keep everybody (including me) from commenting. Which is fine, too. The republic will survive a couple weeks without adding to the Obama Antichrist thread. I'll switch it back when I return on the 12th or 13th.
Later, kids.
June 29, 2008
June 28, 2008
Pomp and circumcised.
It was probably better in theory than in execution.
The Saratoga Springs High School graduation ceremony was suddenly interrupted Thursday morning when a 19-year-old man dressed as a set of male genitals streaked across the stage of the Saratoga Performing Arts Center. Shooting canned string at diploma-bearing graduates, the intruder startled the crowd of nearly 5,000 gathered to see students receive their degrees.
After making his appearance among the senior class, the man leapt off the stage and ran toward the exit gates in an attempt to escape security officers, who were in close pursuit. He appeared to have some difficulty eluding officers, however, due to the cumbersome layers of his costume, which covered him from head to foot. He was eventually captured inside a service entrance next to The Hall of Springs nearby after he tripped over the lower extremities of the costume, and was promptly arrested by Saratoga Springs Police. [...] Police said the penis outfit was a commercially-purchased inflatable device that came with a battery pack.
Doesn't look like a very convincing costume, really.
You gotta see this.
"Jim Denevan made the world's largest freehand drawing a few weeks ago on a dry lake in Nevada. How big is it? Three miles across, which took 100 miles of walking to draw the pattern."
June 25, 2008
June 19, 2008
WHO'S YOUR GRANDDADDY!?
Besides his glowing complexion, Shigeo Tokuda looks like any other 74-year-old man in Japan. Despite suffering a heart attack three years ago, the lifelong salaryman now feels healthier, and lives happily with his wife and a daughter in downtown Tokyo. He is, of course, more physically active than most retirees, but that's because he's kept his part-time job — as a porn star. Shigeo Tokuda is, in fact, his screen name — he prefers not to disclose his real name because, he insists, his wife and daughter have no idea that he has appeared in about 350 films over the past 14 years.
Tokuda's exploits have proved to be a goldmine for Glory Quest, which first launched an "old-man" series, Maniac Training of Lolitas, in December 2004. Its popularity led the company to follow up with Tokuda starring in Forbidden Elderly Care in August 2006. Other series followed, and soon elder porn had revealed itself as a sustainable new revenue stream for the industry.
June 18, 2008
June 17, 2008
June 16, 2008
Maybe this time it will take.
Ogged is retiring from blogging (again), and I wish him all the best. In the traditional Unfogged style.
